I can't focus. I don't know if it's microplastics, Long Covid or because I pay $500 a week to live in a mould experiment. This year I formed a parasocial relationship with a Deliveroo chatbot and I lost all my crypto trying to buy a mermaid skeleton. 'His mind works like no other' ★★★★★ (Chortle.co.uk). 'Genius and insanity... a truly brilliant writer' ★★★★★ (Scotsman). 'Book yesterday' ★★★★ (Age). Winner: Best of the Fest, Sydney Comedy Festival, 2025. Winner: Director's Choice Award, Melbourne International Comedy Festival, 2025. Winner: Piece of Wood Award, Melbourne International Comedy Festival, 2023.