Bank Holiday weekends are quite possibly the ultimate test of where you are in your life. Does the concept of a weekend still mean nothing to you, or is it the only time you feel like yourself? Do you have familial obligations, or is it your own personal blank canvas on which to disappear for three to four days?

Let's cut out the depressing philosophising and get straight to business: if your Bank Holiday weekends are about dark rooms and deep electronic music, this year’s Glasgow May Bank Holiday boasts its usual embarrassment of great nights, making it difficult to actually pick which one to go to. Choose wisely with the help of our suggested calendar.

FRI 1 MAY
James Holden Live Show
The live show was initially formed to support Thom Yorke's Atoms For Peace tour in America, which should send shivers up the spine of a certain contingent. Other guests include Helena Hauff, Alex Smoke, Golden Teacher. This is a big one.
The Art School, 10pm-3am, £15

Pressure Closing Party
M_nus or Dystopian? You choose, as the two techno labels go head to head with the monolithic Richie Hawtin headlining the main arch and Rødhåd in the front one. This is the last Pressure of the year before they crawl out squinting into the daylight for the summer (first stop: the Riverside Weekender).
The Arches, 10pm-4am, £25

i AM with Daniel Avery and Barnt
A tempting double header if ever there was one: emotive acid squelches from Avery, and call-to-action, functional dance from long-serving Cologne master Barnt.
Sub Club, 11pm-3am, £15

Joey Anderson
La Cheetah and Missing Persons Club are understandably delighted with this booking. Deep sounds from the New York producer, from that NY/NJ fold that seems to include the likes of Levon Vincent and Jus-Ed. After lighting up 2013 with 12 inches, his debut album After Forever has just been released on Dekmantel and is generally thought to be amazing.
La Cheetah, 11pm-4am, £8

SAT 2 MAY
Platform 18 Street Party
Platform 18's alfresco party with regular Ivan Kutz, which may thoroughly confuse the people actually using the underground at West Street by setting up turntables under the bridge and filling the area with smiling people.
West Street Subway station, 3pm-10pm, £14

Sub Club Soundsystem
If there's anywhere in Glasgow made for rocking up and throwing a party, it's surely The Barras. Saturday is Derrick Carter Does Disco, Bicep, Gerd Janson and Leon Vynehall whilst Sunday is J.E.S.u.S – a kind of joke DJ supergroup comprising four people having a really good time in Jackmaster, Eats Everything, Skream and Seth Troxler. Of course, there are afterparties for both (Bicep on Saturday night, J.E.S.u.S on the Sunday night) which are open until 4am, so if you were that way inclined you could spend your entire weekend between the two places and be essentially battered by entertainment the whole time.
The Barras Art & Design Centre, 1pm-11pm, £30

SUN 3 MAY
Melting Pot with Greg Wilson
Greg Wilson returns to The Admiral for a big Bank Holiday extended hours Melting Pot. His prolific mixes flit from disco, funk, electronica and early house, simultaneously channelling downtown New York basements and late 80s Manchester warehouses. Extra highlights include a classic Balaeric set upstairs, from Let’s Go Back residents. Listen below for a feel of the musical delights Wilson might have in store.
The Admiral, 11pm-4am, £10-£12

Sub Club Soundsystem
As above.
Sun 3 May, The Barras Art & Design Centre, 1pm-11pm, £30

MON 4 MAY
A city-wide day of mourning and recovery as people get to grips with the return to work / real life.