Straight from the kick-off, Wayne Thallon confesses that he’s not a stand-up comic, he’s never even done an open mic slot and he won’t be stepping up on a comedy stage again beyond August. The reason he’s doing this at all is to raise funds for the British Heart Foundation, a move inspired by his own child’s health problems. He has a bit of a rant about a one-star review that has just been published before showing us a large interview spread in a broadsheet daily, insisting that this is the kind of press coverage he was after.

Does this make Procreation unreviewable? Given that a press ticket was issued without any caveats, his show has to be seen through the exact same eyes that a reviewer would value every other act who allows critics through the door. And as such, it has to be said that this hour falls massively short. He actually starts with a decent if overly-familiar military gag but as soon as he gets into his stride, Thallon’s lack of experience shines through as he stumbles his way through a fairly icky start about medical TV documentaries before getting into the bulk of his show, covering his sexual history and tough upbringing.

If this had been a gong show gig, Thallon would have lasted less than two minutes; as it is, we are sat for the best part of an hour watching a wholly artless and unenjoyable display. It’s impossible not to wish him and his family all the best, but maybe he would have been better advised trying another fund-raising pursuit for the month.

Just the Tonic at The Caves, 556 5375, until 25 Aug, 9pm, £8–£10.