The comedian appears for the first time at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2013
What do you think might work out as the best piece of advice you receive ahead of your Fringe debut?
Never mix up ‘flyering’ and ‘fisting’ up the Royal Mile
What do you expect will be the least useful piece of advice?
Fisting works just as well as flyering, up the Royal Mile.
Imagine this is September: looking back at August, what would constitute a successful Fringe?
Being offered my own 50-seater venue to perform whatever I wanted to in the Fringe, every year free of charge for the next 20 years. And finally getting an agent/ manager who understands and gets my comedy.
In krugerrands, how much do you expect to lose during the Fringe?
I would say three, providing they are ‘Britannia 1oz Gold’ krugerrands.
Back in the old days, there used to be a thing called ‘the festival shag’. Is this ancient tradition likely to play any part in your thinking during August?
I do not shag during the festival, especially anything ancient.
Back in the old days, comedians would drink alcohol solidly for a whole month and still manage to get out and do their show every day: how much are you likely to imbibe per day?
I would drink rum and ginger beer or Jack and Coke every day during the festival, but believe it or not, I do go to the gym every morning during the Fringe for a 20-minute run and 30-minute swim therefore sweating it all out in time for a sober evening show and another night’s imbibing again.
What qualities do you expect from a Fringe venue?
A light and some black curtains
Will you read your reviews before your run is over and if so, how do you think they will affect you as a comedian and as a human being?
It will make me feel closer to the name of the reviewer as I intend to stalk and skin at least one of them.
Next year, will you consider returning as a double act?
No.
If you are in a double act, will you consider returning solo next year?
Yes.
Do you undertake any superstitious rituals before going on stage?
I stick a bramble in my anus and drink a pint of diesel and cranberry.
If you were about to perform at the Fringe for your tenth year, where would you expect your career to be at that point?
I would expect to have at least four tribute acts doing my gigs for me and I would be performing under another name: MERRIWEATHER MINGE and his Leather Toasters.
Pleasance Courtyard, 556 6550, 3–25 Aug (not 13), 11pm, £8–£9.50 (£7.50–£8). Previews 31 Jul–2 Aug, £6.