First record you ever bought
‘I Should Be So Lucky.’

Last extravagant purchase you made
My new Prius.

First film you saw that really moved you
Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey.

Last lie you told
It won’t hurt, I promise.

First movie you ever went on a date to
American Beauty.

Last time you cried
Yesterday.

First thing you do when you’ve got time off work
Onesie, beer, movie.

Last great meal you cooked
Goan Kingfish Curry.

First crush
Natalie Imbruglia.

Last book you read
Ian McEwan – Black Dogs.

First great piece of advice you were given
Ignore what everyone says.

Last time you were star struck
Meeting Andrew Motion on a book show.

First thing you’d do if you ran the country
Resign.

Last meal on earth – what would it be
King Prawn Shaslik, Veggie Dansak.

First song you’ll sing at karaoke
‘Jailhouse Rock.’

Last time you exploited your position to get something
Sex. Lots of it. I’m shagging right now.

First time you realised you were famous
I don’t believe I am yet.

Last time someone criticised your work
I am my greatest critic. I do it every day. Helps with editing.

First three words your friends would use to describe you
Hyper, funny, loving.

Last time you made an impulse buy and regretted it
Paid for business-class flights and felt like a total elitist capitalist pig

First concert you ever attended
Unbelievably, I’ve never been to a music concert.

Last time you bought someone flowers
I bought flowers for a goddess from Manchester two weeks ago.

First object you’d save from your burning home
Laptop with jokes on.

Last funny thing you saw online
Barack Obama singing ‘Call Me Maybe’.

First job
Copywriter.

Last person you fantasised about
A goddess from Manchester.

First word you spoke
I need poo poo.

Last crime you committed
My hairstyle.

First song at your (potential) wedding
Drake – ‘Best I Ever Had'.

Last song at your funeral
I’d have punishing silence.

First person you’d thank in an award acceptance speech
My manager.

Last thing you recommended to someone
Burger King.

First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning
Writing.

Last thing you think of before you go to sleep
Sex.

Russell Kane: Posturing Delivery, Assembly Rooms, 0844 693 3008, until 24 Aug, 9pm, £15 (£12); Russell Kane: Comedy Winner with Caustic Debut Novel, Charlotte Square Gardens, 0845 373 5888, 17 Aug, 2pm, £10 (£8); Russell Kane: Reading, Word Power Bookshop, 662 9112, 20 Aug, 1pm, free.

Kylie Minogue - I Should Be So Lucky

Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey (1993) Trailer

American Beauty Trailer

Natalie Imbruglia - Torn

Barack Obama Singing Call Me Maybe - Carly Rae Jepsen

Drake - Best I Ever Had (HD)