(15) 81min

Clint Eastwood’s iconic Man With No Name is the inspiration for Jonah Hex, a vengeful cowboy in director Jimmy Hayward’s adaptation of the popular DC Comics character.

Scarred and angry, Hex wanders the post civil war landscape searching for Quentin Turnbull (John Malkovich), who murdered Hex’s family and left him for dead. The ruthless Turnbull is also sought by US military operatives who suspect him of developing an ‘ultimate weapon’ in the vague form of some magic orange balls. When Turnbull seeks the upper hand on his pursuers by kidnapping Hex’s squeeze, saloon-girl Lilah (Megan Fox), the grizzled Hex unleashes his own personal brand of revenge on all concerned.

When a major studio film comes it at one hour and twenty-one minutes long, and features decent players like Wes Bentley, Michael Fassbender and Will Arnett in blink-and-you’ll-miss them roles, it’s clear that something went wrong with Hayward’s graduation from Pixar’s animation department to his first live-action gig. Incoherently assembled from badly lit scenes, Jonah Hex is barely watchable, with only Brolin offering any conviction. The early sight of Hex’s horse ridiculously kitted out with Gatling guns sets the bar high in terms of stupidity; Jonah Hex is pure cinematic hell.

General release, Fri 3 Sep.