First record you ever bought
Motley Crüe’s Shout at the Devil. I stole all my records up until this one.

Last time you were chatted up
20 minutes ago.

First film you saw that really moved you
E.T.

Last lie you told
Last night I told a girl I loved her so she would share her blow with me.

First movie you ever went on a date to
E.T.

Last time you cried
At E.T.

First thing you do when you’ve got time off work
Get stoned and play more drums.

Last great meal you cooked
I don’t cook but if I did it would be steak and potatoes.

Last extravagant purchase you made
I bought a new pair of spandex pants with fringe and leather.

First crush
Farah Fawcett.

Last book you read
No books.

First great piece of advice you were given
Don’t talk to strangers, cause they’re only there to do you harm.

Last time you were star struck
I don’t remember.

First thing you’d do if you ran the country
I’d legalise drugs and prostitution. Then I’d legalise gambling and start a real life death race TV show. Then I’d have the treasury cut me a check for $400,000,000. Then I’d party.

Last meal on earth – what would it be?
Tuna casserole.

First song you’ll sing at karaoke
Madonna’s ‘Like a Virgin’

First time you realised you were famous
When I saw myself on TV.

Last time someone criticised your work
I don’t listen to critics. They are just frustrated artists.

First three words your friends would use to describe you
Awesome, killer, and bitchin’.

Last time you made an impulse buy and regretted it
Condoms.

First concert you ever attended
Neil Diamond. This chick I was banging loved the Diamond and sometimes you have to make sacrifices.

Last time you bought someone flowers
My aunt’s funeral.

First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning
Vagina then metal.

Last thing you think of before you go to sleep
Metal then vagina.

Steel Panther play The Garage, Glasgow, Tue 15 Sep.