New Art Club - Festival virgins
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Reasons to be cheerful
- Being accosted by a multi-coloured hyperactive woman with a microphone and conducting an interview for BBC World Service in the pouring rain under an inflatable purple cow
- Laughing hysterically at Greg Fleet's last gag whilst trying to take in the next at the Gilded Balloon press launch
- Sharing a dressing room with comedy hero Phil Kay and smelling his sweat from the previous night
- Having a nice rest during a truly awful show that our PR guy has just told us not to name in this piece
- The schadenfreude experienced when seeing comedy stars at the top of their game stagger through their very first shows tempered by the sure knowledge that they'll be bloody excellent in two days time
- The alternative festival taking place before our very eyes in our rented flat on Brougham Place. The comedy there is unbelievable, the dance amazing, the wine superior, the catering first class but the toilets worse than Glastonbury's
- Skipping up cobbled streets like a pair of girls at our show warm up knowing full well that we left any dignity we may have had on the train to Waverley
- The fear of flyering and facing our own misanthropic daemons only to discover that everyone's quite nice really when you ask them to come and help discover a brand new dance craze
- The free sauna at the Pleasance Dome. Go watch any show there but do remember to take a bathrobe
- Getting pissed on the free booze at the various press launches.
Reasons to be slightly peeved
- Being heckled by kids with words that rhyme with banker whilst filming the title sequence for The Culture Show in Bristo Square. We were once just like them so maybe one day they'll be contemporary dance stars
- Our costumes stink to high heaven and it's only day three
- Leaving a soiled jock strap on the bus and deciding against calling lost property
- The guilt and sadness felt when your four year old daughter leaves a message saying 'I love you and I'm missing you' when out on the piss
- Not being able to see all the other great shows that are on at 3.15.
New Art Club's Extra Ordinary World, Gilded Balloon Teviot, 668 1633, until 25 Aug (not 11, 18), 3.15pm, £9-£10 (£8-£9)