It has only been a week since my last column but it feels like months and months. A day at the Festival is like ten days at least. So far I have been desperately trying to pace myself and to make my show better. To do this I wrote it out on cue cards. I don’t know if that will help but I like pretending that it’s not a comedy show anymore, it’s an important presentation to the board that I must make. (In my head I have started to pretend I am an ambitious young executive, with a young family to support, a hunger to make sales and a lean face like a shark. I don’t think it is helping my show, which is not about anything remotely like that).

Other than that I made a lovely stir-fry for my friend Andrew McClelland the other day. I have been hanging out a lot with him and Maeve Higgins. All of our shows are on at the same time, which has been affectionately called ‘whimsy hour’. Between seven and eight at night is a lovely time to do a show because nobody is drunk yet except old tramps. And old tramps love whimsy anyway so they aren’t a problem.

I have eaten two jacket potatoes from my local potato shop. One was amazing (spinach, cottage cheese and pineapple) and the other was only half cooked (veggie haggis and cottage cheese). I don’t know how I feel about their establishment anymore. I give them three stars on the whole, on balance. But I think if I was a reviewer I would just give everything three stars to save time, just like, if I was a teacher, everyone would get a B+ for their homework and I would get on with the finer things in life like playing the card shout-out game Uno Attack or running through crowds pretending to be in the film The Bourne Identity.

I’m tired, I’ve got a nasty cold and I am already a bit of a show bore. Doing a one person show in Edinburgh is a bit like taking the hallucinogen mescaline and going out into the desert. At first you become very insular and then you go insane.
I haven’t ever taken mescaline in the desert though. I’m not really one of those party comics, as you can probably tell.

Josie Long is in Trying is Good, Pleasance Courtyard, 556 6550, until 27 Aug (not 20), 7.15pm,