Doug Stanhope is recalling one of the last times he played O2 Academy Glasgow, when fights erupted in front of the stage. ‘I mean, it was a major brawl,’ he maintains. ‘It had nothing to do with me and was early in the set. But I kept looking over because everyone was completely non-plussed. They just kept watching the show, even as four or five people were swinging limbs at each other.’

Ah, Glasgow. As the American is chatting, while smoking outside his hotel in Grand Rapids, Michigan, I realise I was at that gig. I check my notes and identify it as 2015, though there's a detail that the veteran stand-up conjures from his failing memory that supplants mine. ‘I kept looking at this guy who was there amongst it, who looked like Frankie Boyle, thinking that he never blinked an eye. But I figured, it couldn’t have been him, because he’d have come backstage after the show. Then I found out later, it was Frankie Boyle!’ he chuckles throatily. ‘Just happily drinking it all in.’ 

Along with Jerry Sadowitz, whom Stanhope has recently read about having his show cancelled at the Fringe, Boyle is ‘a bucket list guy’ he hopes to see perform at some point. ‘I'm sure he’s completely different on an artistic level,’ he reflects. ‘But my name always gets dropped in with Frankie Boyle, whom I’ve never met, even though I’ve written op-eds defending something he’s said.’ 

He sighs, world-wearily. ‘Every time I’m in the UK, there’s some kind of controversy or other that you can decide whether you want to be involved in. Do I want the press? But then I don't know if things are different to how they are over here. Obviously, cancel culture. I fucking hate even using that expression because it gives it power, because it’s fake. Yeah, I’ll be talking about that, because which comic doesn’t?’ 

He won’t be discussing Will Smith slapping Chris Rock at the Oscars though. Rather, he’ll be reminiscing about one-time celebrity castration victim, John Wayne Bobbitt, if that has any legs. ‘Or Pee-wee Herman jerking off in an adult movie theatre. Because every single comic is going to be talking about Chris Rock, so I’ll just let it go unless I have something brilliant that no one else has. Like, Roe vs Wade just went down over here and I have this abortion bit. But I’m confident no one else is going to stumble into the territory that I’ve found.’ 

For once, the 55-year-old, who lives in Arizona and decries inclement weather, sounds genuinely enthused to be returning to Scotland. ‘I really am looking forward to it because it’s been put off for so long and so many times because of covid. I’m in a kind of denial, reverse psychology thing, where normally I dread the UK, but now I’m like “fuck you! You can’t postpone it again!” Covid screwed up my whole comedy rhythm of touring and releasing.’ 

He’s just published the print edition of his third book in five years, No Encore For The Donkey, and it’s the one he’s proudest of, ‘because anyone who listens to my podcast knows the stories. So I had to really focus on the writing this time; I had to put a lot of effort into it.’ One of those tales is of a doomed television pilot Stanhope tried to make with his friend Johnny Depp, ‘a little bit of sketch, hidden camera, based in a podcast setting,’ he recalls, ruefully. ‘I tried to do too much with it, figuring we could do it in a week at my house. In a small town with no access to props, actors or even minorities. We didn’t even have Black people to play a Black person. So that was a failure.’ 

^{Picture: Brian Hennigan}

Still, he can at least now lay claim to being a bona-fide film star, having shot the lead in upcoming indie film The Road Dog, about an alcoholic comic who gets a second chance at life when he reconnects with the son he never knew. ‘A 55-year-old stand-up still doing shitty gigs, chain smoking and dying of liver failure. It wasn’t a stretch,’ he remarks drily. Unlike when he’s on stage, he swore off drinking during filming. ‘I’ve never felt like I’ve been showing myself like this. If you have a bad 90-minute set, you know you’ve sucked when you walk off stage. But when you make a 90-minute movie, you won’t know if you sucked until a year and a half later.’ 

Featuring his ‘old road buddy’ Greg Fitzsimmons as a fellow comedian and rookie stand-up Des Mulrooney as his character Jimmy Quinn’s son, when it came to casting the role of Jimmy’s ex-girlfriend, whom he repeatedly cheated on and treated like shit, Emmy-winning actor and former model Khrystyne Haje was the obvious choice.

‘When I showed up a week early for rehearsal, they still hadn’t cast it completely and needed someone to play the love of my life from 20 years ago,’ he recalls. ‘And I said, “what about my ex-girlfriend from 21 years ago? She happens to be an actress, I cheated on her repeatedly and treated her like shit”. We hadn’t seen each other in so long. But we still had that chemistry!’

Doug Stanhope, The Glee Club, Nottingham, Monday 12 & Tuesday 13 September; Tyne Theatre And Opera House, Newcastle, Wednesday 14 September; O2 Academy Sheffield, Thursday 15 September; Manchester O2 Apollo, Friday 16 September; Southampton O2 Guildhall, Saturday 17 September; Eventim Hammersmith Apollo, London, Sunday 18 September; London O2 Kentish Town, Monday 19 September; St David's Hall, Cardiff, Wednesday 21 September; O2 Academy Birmingham, Thursday 22 September; O2 Academy Glasgow, Friday 23 September; O2 Academy Leeds, Saturday 24 September; The Forum, Bath, Tuesday 27 September.