Burnistoun’s favourite son, Biscuity Boyle, will visit Glasgow once again this month for his new work-in-progress show Live Sex Comedy, promising ‘Penises! Fannies! Sperms! You name it!’ It’s an unquestionably erotic proposition from the former athlete who first entered the public consciousness in the Burnistoun segment ‘Biscuity Boyle’s Sex Ed For Adults’. 

Burnistoun, a public service broadcast which some may have mistaken for a comedy sketch show, also followed Boyle’s travails on the speed-dating scene as he dropped his false teeth in a woman’s drink, ‘let one off’ in another woman’s face and berated himself for having ‘hands like a bloated corpse’. He did not find true love. When Burnistoun ended its run, the self-described ‘geriatric pishy Godzilla’ hit the road with his live show Biscuity Boyle: My Bastart Life, giving fans further insight into this flatulent renaissance man’s past, including his time partying with Grace Jones at Studio 54 and his filial connection with nephew Barnaby Boyle. 

After the closing date of his tour at Glasgow’s Òran Mór, he wrote on Twitter, ‘enjoyed that show the night, I suppose, but why can I no’ just die?’ Why not indeed? Perhaps this new sperms-filled show will give Boyle the closure he deserves. 

Biscuity Boyle: Live Sex Comedy will be performed at Blackfriars, Glasgow, Friday 12 & Saturday 13, Friday 19, Sunday 21 May.