Self-proclaimed actress, singer and empath Myra DuBois is heading out on tour to meet her legions of ‘AdMyras’. In our Q&A, the South Yorkshire siren talks about her deep connection with big cats, high-kicking around Europe with Bonnie Langford, and why a certain EastEnder gets her all fired up.

Who would you like to see playing you in the movie about your life? Who do you think the casting people would choose? I think the obvious choice for the role of ‘Myra DuBois’ in the inevitable biopic of my life story would be me, Myra DuBois. Don’t get me wrong, Meryl has the range, I’d never say she doesn’t. But she’s also of a vintage, and I have a beauty that’s ageless.

What’s the punchline to your favourite joke? ‘That’s poor for four’. And I shall offer no further context.

If you were to return in a future life as an animal, what would it be? A leopard. Without a doubt. Leopard print is the national dress of Northern women and as such I’ve a deep connection to them. And who knows, maybe in the peculiar circularity of the cosmos, I’d end up as a pelt on the back of a Northern woman!

If you were playing in an escape room, name two other people (well-known or otherwise) you’d recruit to help you get out? Like in many other scenarios in life, I would have two members of my staff get me out. According to the brief of the question, I believe that falls under ‘otherwise’, but I couldn’t name them in print. That’s not data protection, by the way; I just don’t know them by name.

When was the last time you were mistaken for someone else and what were the circumstances? I think you’ll find I’m the sort of personality for whom other people are mistaken for, and not the other way round. 

Which famous person would be your ideal holiday companion? Well, I think it’s about time television gave me and my close and personal friend Bonnie Langford our own travel show, frankly; just me and our Bon high-kicking round the continent. Telly execs, if you’re reading this, contact me direct.

Describe your perfect Saturday evening? On stage in a gorgeous theatre somewhere lovely, with the beaming faces of my needy public gazing back at me with gormless affection.

When were you most recently astonished by something? The number and quality of these questions.

What’s the best cover version ever? It’d be crass for me to say outright but I will mention that people forget that my version of ‘Why’ is originally by Annie Lennox. I suppose mine is now the definitive.

Whose speaking voice soothes your ears? Patrick Trueman of EastEnders. The hairs on my neck go up, and so do my legs.

Tell us something you wish you had discovered sooner in life? That long-form Q&As are rarely, if at all, ever actually read by the ticket-buying public.

If you were a ghost, who would you haunt? Someone lovely. A haunting is supposed to be a punishment isn’t it? But sorry, if it’s my spectral aura that’s hanging round someone for the rest of their remaining life, it could at least be someone nice to look at.

If you could relive any day of your life, which one would it be? I think it would be when I appeared in the school play at the Rotherham School For Gifted Girls. It was the nativity, and I wrote it, and it was (I must say) quite brilliant. I played the Angel Gabriel. And Mary. My sister Rose played Joseph and the Donkey. We used a leather shammy for the Christ Child. It was very moving.

Tell us one thing about yourself that would surprise people? I’ve never performed anything by Shakespeare. Yet.

When did you last cry? I cry often and on command to illustrate to an audience how endearingly vulnerable I am on stage.

If you were to start a tribute act to a band or singer, who would it be in tribute to and what would it be called? 

I’d work under the name ‘Self-AdMyra’ and it would be a tribute to myself.

What tune do you find it impossible not to get up and dance to, whether in public or private? I’m a sucker for the ‘Time Warp’. Those first few bars have me jumping to the left and stepping to the right quicker than Keir Starmer.

As an adult, what has a child said to you that made a powerful impact? As a general rule, I have no communication with any member of the Child Community. What they get up to behind closed nursery doors is their business, but I don’t want to see it out on the street.

What’s the most hi-tech item in your home? My sister Rose recently had a Smart CPAP machine fitted. I’ve told her all she’s doing is sending her snoring data to Elon Musk and the Russians, but she just won’t listen.

What’s a skill you’d love to learn but never got round to? I’ve no regrets. I found peace with my own skillset long ago. As we say in the business, for those little tasks you just can’t do, there’s staff.

By decree of your local council, you’ve been ordered to destroy one room in your house and all of its contents. Which room do you choose? Our Rose’s quarters. The CPAP machine is louder than she is.

If you were selected as the next 007, where would you pick as your first luxury destination for a spot of espionage? Ingoldmells. It’s a very select Skegness.

Myra DuBois: Be Well is on tour until Thursday 16 November.