Who would you like to see playing you in the movie about your life? Who do you think the casting people would choose? Ideally it would be a young Kathy Bates. But I can imagine some ‘out of the box’ casting with Margot Robbie doing an ugly girl summer, like Charlize Theron in Monster, so she can get that Oscar. 

What’s the punchline to your favourite joke? My mum can’t make soup. 

If you were to return in a future life as an animal, what would it be? One of them whales that’s destroying superyachts. 

If you were playing in an escape room, name two other people (famous or not famous, dead or alive) you’d recruit to help you get out? Frank Morris, the genius bank robber who escaped Alcatraz, for the escaping. And Betty White, for the lols. 

When was the last time you were mistaken for someone else and what were the circumstances? It rarely happens; there’s not that many women walking about who look like a sexy version of Hagrid. However, there was a photographer who said she met me on the set of Outlander (a place I’ve never been) and rather than accept she was wrong she argued with me.

What’s the best cover version ever? The Gourds’ cover of Snoop Dogg’s ‘Gin And Juice’ or William Shatner’s version of ‘Common People’.

Whose speaking voice soothes your ears? Thierry Henry. He can ‘va va voom’ in my ear whenever he likes. 

Tell us something you wish you had discovered sooner in life? That I was autistic. I really thought for the longest time that EVERYONE was struggling to people and that I was just really bad at it. 

Describe your perfect Saturday evening? Sims 4. Bloody Mary. Podcast about murder. Then I murder my sims. 

If you were a ghost, who would you haunt? Haunting is tough, cos do I want to be a vengeful spirit or a sexy spirit? If vengeful, I’d probably haunt the Edinburgh Fringe, and my one ghost power would be to make comedians think they’ve seen the light indicating the end of their show. But really it’s me, and they still had 15 minutes. HA!

If you could relive any day of your life, which one would it be? I would relive the day I got told Dinosaur had been picked up for a series by Hulu and BBC, and I’d insist everyone make a fuss. At the time I said ‘no it’s fine, don’t make a fuss’ when in actuality I really wanted a fuss, and now I’m annoyed that one wasn’t made. 

What’s your earliest recollection of winning something? I won a fancy-dress competition at a caravan park when I was two. I dressed up as a television and sang the Neighbours theme tune.

Did you have a nickname at school that you were OK with? And can you tell us a nickname you hated? I’ve never had a nickname, and I’m really good at giving nicknames, so it’s mad vexing! I think it’s like seeing aliens: if you want it too much you don’t get it. Here are some nicknames I think I’d suit: Ace, Darklight, Night Girl, Kickers, Spock, Turkey Twizzler.

If you were to start a tribute act to a band or singer, who would it be in tribute to and what would it be called? Obviously I’d be a Taylor Swift tribute act, but I’d be called Taylor Slow. Because of my knees. 

When were you most recently astonished by something? I found out that when Cheers first aired, Frasier aka Kelsey Grammer was only 27, and Norm and Cliff were 34 and 35. And I’m not talking character ages, I’m talking ACTORS. Taylor Swift is the same age as NORM in the first series of Cheers. ASTONISHING!

What tune do you find it impossible not to get up and dance to, whether in public or private? Simple Minds’ ‘Alive And Kicking’ is my JAM! 

Which famous person would be your ideal holiday companion? Larry David. I once had a dream where we went on a cruise together and it was both fun and surprisingly erotic. 

When did you last cry? I cry constantly, so about 45 minutes ago. Nothing bad happened, I just sometimes look at my dog and she’s so cute I cry. 

As an adult, what has a child said to you that made a powerful impact? As an adult, I avoid talking to children. But one time at the Fringe I was wearing cycling shorts and a hoodie, and a teenage girl said ‘you look like Billie Eilish’. I almost cried with happiness. 

Tell us one thing about yourself that would surprise people? I don’t know how surprising this is to people who know me, but during lockdown when I had lost my mind, I wrote the equivalent of two War And Peaces worth of fanfiction that was all about Harry Potter characters on Love Island. That’s actually more than a million words. 

What’s the most hi-tech item in your home? Probably my fridge, it’s got all the bells and whistles. 

What’s a skill you’d love to learn but never got round to? Piano. I’m always so jealous of those people who can walk into a train station and just play the public piano. And everyone smiles at them. 

By decree of your local council, you’ve been ordered to destroy one room in your house and all of its contents. Which room do you choose? Kitchen, because then I can replace everything with Ninja products and air fryers. 

If you were selected as the next 007, where would you pick as your first luxury destination for espionage? South Korea. Not to spy, it’s just James Bond on a jaunt to go visit his favourite K-drama locations and to eat indoor BBQ.

Dinosaur starts on BBC Scotland, Sunday 14 April; all episodes available on BBC Three, Thursday 18 April; Ashley Storrie performs a work-in-progress show at The Stand, Glasgow, Sunday 7, Saturday 20 April; pictures: Steve Ullathorne.