In this absurd yet delicious pastiche of cabaret divas and showbiz interviews, we meet a talking apple, in conversation with puppeteer and ventriloquist David Salter. It feels wrong to call this a one-man show, given that Dame Granny Smith is such a large onstage personality (albeit a petite green apple), being expertly brought to life by Salter. Now slightly shrivelled and browning, Dame Smith was once a child star who went on to star in Disney’s Snow White. A controlling conservatorship, sleazy casting couch moments: she’s lived through it all. 

We’re taken on a surreal ride through Dame Smith’s career with triumphant and ridiculous blasts of song from Les Mis and Shirley Bassey, through to the rather undignified loss of her grip on reality now that she’s a much more mature fruit. Salter’s invisible plosives are truly fantastic; his teeth remain on permanent display as he effortlessly handles the back and forth between himself (reverential, self-deprecating, slightly nervous of any accidentally racist slips) and the less than politically correct Dame Smith. Who can say where Salter got the idea for this strange spin on This Is Your Life, but it touches on some sweetly poignant moments amongst the dafter detours. 

An Evening With Dame Granny Smith, Underbelly George Square, until 31 August, 2.50pm; picture: Paul Gallasch. 

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