Recents discussions here at List Towers brought forth the interesting fact that there isn’t enough hangar space to ground every commercial flight in the world at once, so a certain amount of planes have to keep flying around the clock, even over the festive period. It’s at this point in time that Richard Branson and co might well offer their thanks to the international superstar DJs of the planet, who no doubt help meet the cost of all that jet fuel.

Clubs held on Christmas Day and Boxing Day generally attract a certain kind of reveller, a fearsomely committed individual for whom the thought of picking at the cold turkey, watching the Christmas Doctor Who special or cementing family relationships doesn’t appeal so much as a good old-fashioned seasonal mash-up with their mates. Fortunately, club promoters recognise this fact, and are only too willing to help us dodge the family obligations.

Without doubt the biggest night happening this Christmas, as ever, is the Colours Boxing Day Party (Arches, Glasgow, 26 Dec), a huge affair, licensed ‘til 4am headlined by Fedde Le Grand, whose ‘Put Your Hands Up For Detroit’ was one of the year’s biggest crossover tunes. Also appearing are Seb Fontaine, Tim Deluxe, Sebastian Leger, Micky Slim, Desyn Masiello, FPI Project, Shades of Rhythm, The Bassheads, Allister Whitehead, Jon Mancini and Boney.

If you want something with a harder edge check out Download with special guests Robert Natus and a live set from Mike Humphries (Club Clinic, Glasgow, 26 Dec), while more dirty house, twisted electro and techno is on offer at Diversion vs Hell (Classic Grand, Glasgow, 26 Dec).

Among the other parties rocking Glasgow over Christmas will be the Tongue In Cheek Boxing Day Special (Bamboo, Glasgow, 26 Dec), featuring a mixture of R&B, house and indie, and the Garage’s seasonal events: Christmas Day at the Garage (Garage, Glasgow, 25 Dec) is offering presents from Santa and free entry to anyone who comes impersonating the fat bearded one, while, at The Garage’s Beach Party (Garage, Glasgow, 26 Dec) you might get drunk enough to think it’s summer.

Being a festive clubber in Edinburgh, meanwhile, means you can indulge yourself until 5am every night. Awkward, half-cut conversations about sexuality with less liberal parents can be avoided by heading straight to the city’s premier gay club, the Taste Escape Xmas Party (Cabaret Voltaire, Edinburgh, 25 Dec) features exquisite house sounds from the residents. The same venue will be serving up We Are . . . Electric (Cabaret Voltaire, Edinburgh, 26 Dec), an equally impressive melee of electro and upbeat house.

In case the Cab appears to have a monopoly here, other Edinburgh clubs will be working antisocial shifts, as well. There’s the annual celebration of Madchester (Liquid Room, Edinburgh, 26 Dec); The Hive will be open for the duration, while Mothergroove (Voodoo Rooms, Edinburgh, 25 Dec) looks seriously tempting – a blend of house, hip hop, disco and funk from the teams that bring you Motherfunk and Ultragroove throughout the year.

See listings for details.