I’d known Alan for a while before I met Victor & Barry. We were neighbours in London and I’d go and hang out with him and his wife at their flat. They were wonderful, happy days. At the time, I was working sporadically as an actor, mostly in the theatre, and so had to supplement my income with a bit of photography on the side. I did portraits and publicity shots for actors and had a fairly decent camera.

One night I went over to Alan’s for supper and Forbes was there. The two of them were just hilarious. I could hardly eat my food for laughing. They were discussing their up-and-coming Edinburgh show, Victor & Barry: In The Scud. I offered to take the publicity shot. 

The next day I arrived at Alan’s and went out into his garden to set up. The plan was to shoot them as if they were naked except for their signature cravates. It was a typical North London ground-floor flat garden, overlooked by many other homes in the surrounding street. 

Victor & Barry came out, with just cravates and very short undies to protect their modesty. We managed to secure the cravates to a wall with some cotton so it looked like they were being blown in the wind, and V&B pulled shocked faces at being caught in the buff as I snapped away. 

The house behind Alan’s was having some work done, and after a while I became aware of some sniggering laughter behind us. I looked up to see several builders on scaffolding pissing themselves at the sight of two semi-naked men with slicked-back hair and silk cravates, their undies up the crack of their bum, being photographed by a gruff Northerner shouting ‘this way! Work it boys! Work it!’ V&B were oblivious to the audience they’d attracted. Then one of the builders shouted ‘nice arse!’

Alan and Forbes leapt ten feet in the air and ran screaming into the kitchen. I tried to persuade them to come back outside and finish the shoot but they wouldn’t do it. They were mortified, and none of us could stop laughing. I was so nervous I hadn’t got the shot. But once I developed it, I saw that there was one frame, maybe just before they’d heard the ‘nice arse’ shout, that was perfect.

I was so pleased with the finished poster, V&B in the middle looking outraged by their own nakedness, the cravates perfectly floating in the wind, with VICTOR & BARRY across the top, and IN THE SCUD strategically placed at an angle across their crown jewels.

I think that was my only brush with greatness as a photographer. Sadly, after that my acting career took off and I had to ditch my dream of being the next David Bailey.

Victor & Barry’s Kelvinside Compendium: A Meander Down Memory Close is published by 404 Ink on Thursday 25 July; read our interview with Alan Cumming and Forbes Masson.