Drinking Games: The Hipster Challenge
He’s grabbing drinks journalism by the horns, then tearing the horns off and gluing them onto his head with Pritt Stick and spite. Yes, Kevin Fullerton is here to ramble another drinking game into the void and onto these pages. This month’s challenge... find a bar in Leith hip enough to appreciate my sophisticated high fashion
As Edinburgh’s foremost hipster, it’s my job to set trends and make sure Leith continues its long history of housing impeccably bearded snobs like me. Remember the neon belt craze of 2012? That was me. The terracotta trouser hype of 2018? Me again. The stovepipe hat blip of 2020? Guilty as charged. And now I’ve devised my masterpiece: the two-glasses stack. That’s right, one pair of glasses on top of the other to create the impression of literal four eyes. To market my new hipster must-have, I hit some of the coolest bars in Leith. Can they handle my varifocal chic?
First in the hip parade was Lost In Leith, an inviting spot embedded in Commercial Quay with calming low lights, exposed brickwork, and staff who happily explain their extensive menu to confused punters. The styluminati around me failed to register the presence of a man wearing one pair of glasses on top of the other (a bit like failing to notice the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel), but that didn’t dull this icon’s enjoyment of one of the best bars in the port.
Desperate to be rubbernecked, I headed a few doors down to The Barologist, where I was met with a menu teeming with cocktail options. I opted for an espresso martini, a classy drink for a man endowed with sartorial elegance, and admired the décor which, while arguably overblown with floral wallpaper and kitsch figures, maintained a certain charm amidst the visual noise. Punters may not have commented on the two-glasses stack but I could see their jealous glances out of the corners of my myriad rims.
Onto Hemingway’s, a tribute bar to everyone’s favourite alcohol-addled paragon of toxic masculinity. Quotes from this laureate of machismo line many of the walls in a relaxed environment which, while pleasant, had the tacky air of a theme pub. Still, the Ernie-inspired cocktail (The Sun Also Rises) was a fruity delight. A few customers sniggered at me, presumably unaware of what a catwalk-ready star looks like. Such is the life of a pioneer.
Kevin Fullerton is selling two-glasses stacks from garages at undisclosed locations across Edinburgh, three for a fiver. If you can find him, you can buy them.