Interview: Ian Krankie on Mickey Mouse, music hall and Janette
The taller half of the Krankies runs the gauntlet of our First and Last questionnaire
First record you ever bought
'Pretty Woman' by Roy Orbison. The Krankies new song 'I'm Addicted tae Ma Phone' can be purchased from iTunes now!
Last extravagant purchase you made
A black Jag S 2.7 Turbo Diesel. PS Do you want to buy it?
First film you saw that really moved you
I cried in the Walt Disney film, Bambi, when I was three.
Last lie you told
Two minutes ago.
First movie you ever went on a date to
The first James Bond film, Dr No, with Sean Connery.
Last time you cried
When I looked at my bank statement last week.
First thing you do when you've got time off work
Go to the golf club, not necessarily to play golf.
Last great meal you cooked
A green Thai curry with jasmine rice, infused with basil – and he wasn't very happy about it.
First crush
Avril Dunkin at Primary School – I was 6 and she was 5.
Last book you read
My Old Man: A Personal History of Music Hall by John Major.
First great piece of advice you were given
Never smoke in a revolving door.
Last time you were star struck
When I met Mickey Mouse in Florida.
First thing you'd do if you ran the country
Increase arts funding.
Last meal on earth – what would it be
Sizzling garlic prawns to start, followed by roast beef, Yorkshire pud and three veg with a nice gravy, followed by tiramisu.
First song you'll sing at karaoke
'House of the Rising Sun' by the Animals.
Last time you exploited your position to get something
Theatre tickets from producer Michael Harrison to see musical The Bodyguard at the Adelphi Theatre in London's West End.
First time you realised you were famous
When a London taxi driver shouted, 'What's five and five?', a line from a gag that Wee Jimmy told during our first appearance on the Royal Variety Show in 1978.
Last time someone criticised your work
This morning at rehearsals for Dick McWhittington. John Barrowman told me I had no rhythm.
First three words your friends would use to describe you
A great cook.
Last time you made an impulse buy and regretted it
The bloody black Jag.
First concert you ever attended
The Rolling Stones at Bridlington in 1962.
Last time you bought someone flowers
£2 roses for Janette, at Lidl, about a month ago.
First object you'd save from your burning home
Janette. On 16 October we celebrated 44 years of marriage.
Last funny thing you saw online
A picture of Alex Salmond, Nicola Sturgeon and the Krankies with the inscription – 'Spot the difference – two of them are a well known Scottish comedy double act, and the other two are the Krankies.'
First job
Store boy in an electrical engineering company and I couldn't reach the shelves.
Last person you fantasized about
Lorraine Kelly.
First word you spoke
Fandabidozi.
Last crime you committed
Parking ticket.
First song at your (potential) wedding
The Carpenters, 'We've Only Just Begun'.
Last song at your funeral
'Time to Say Goodbye', sung by Andrea Bocelli with Sarah Brightman.
First person you'd thank in an award acceptance speech
Janette. The Krankies have been an act for 46 years and she celebrates 50 years as a professional entertainer this Christmas!
Last thing you recommended to someone
Chia seeds. They help you loose weight, make you feel fuller faster, the chia gel can hydrate the body, can reduce blood pressure and they are the richest plant source of Omega-3 (the vital fats that protect against inflammation—such as arthritis—and heart disease). In fact, they contain more Omega-3 than salmon! Because chia seeds slow down how fast our bodies convert carbohydrates into simple sugars, they can control blood sugar with great benefits for diabetics.
First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning
A cup of tea.
Last thing you think of before you go to sleep
Should I have finished that bottle of red wine?
The Krankies appear in Dick McWhittington at the SECC, Glasgow, until Sun 5 Jan.