First record you ever bought
Pink Floyd’s The Wall.

Last extravagant purchase you made
A cashmere hat. £80 is extravagant, isn’t it?

First film you saw that really moved you
Kes.

Last lie you told
It was a few days ago. I’m not gonna tell you what it was.

First movie you ever went on a date to
Saving Private Ryan with me missus.

Last time you cried
What was the cartoon we were watching the other day? Kung Fu Panda 2! There’s a bit where the kid finds out someone’s not his real father – I shed a tear at that. Just a small tear, mind.

First thing you do when you’ve got time off work
Take the kids to school, then spend the day with me missus.

Last great meal you cooked
Poached egg and bacon, this morning.

First crush
My French teacher.

Last book you read
I recently re-read Hesse’s Siddhartha.

First great piece of advice you were given
‘Just be yourself’ – my dad.

Last time you were star struck
When I met Steven Gerrard.

First thing you’d do if you ran the country
Lower the age of retirement.

Last meal on earth – what would it be
Three courses: Wonton soup, lobster and chips, my mum’s crumble.

First song you’ll sing at karaoke
I don’t really do karaoke … I did Tone Loc’s ‘Wild Thing’ a few years back, but I was really drunk.

Last time you exploited your position to get something
To book a table for 13 for a Christmas dinner at The Bradgate. I’ll say it again so maybe they’ll give me some freebies in the future. The Bradgate. The Bradgate!

First time you realised you were famous
When people were looking at me funny, and I realised it wasn’t because they thought I was going to steal something from them. ‘Stop staring at me, I wasn’t even gonna do anything! Oh wait, you probably saw me on The Bill last night.’

Last time someone criticised your work
Me missus. She criticises me all the time.

First three words your friends would use to describe you
Oh, I don’t know about that – hang on, I’ve got a friend here, I’ll ask … Truthful, loyal and generous. He’s only saying that ‘cos I made him poached eggs and bacon, though.

Last time you made an impulse buy and regretted it
I bought a coat, got it home and realised it looked shit. Gave it to someone else.

First concert you ever attended
I can’t think of any … I went to a lot of raves though, when I was 15.

Last time you bought someone flowers
Me missus. I buy her flowers all the time. And my mum, when I go and visit her.

First object you’d save from your burning home
My two kids. Objects I can live without.

Last funny thing you saw online
A video called ‘Reporter goes ghetto’ [see below]. It’s hilarious, you have to see it.

First job
A film called Blonde Fist with Margi Clarke, directed by Frank Clarke.

Last person you fantasised about
Me missus.

First word you spoke
Probably ‘mum’.

Last crime you committed
I’m not gonna tell you that, am I?

First song at your (potential) wedding
‘Ain’t Nobody’ by Chaka Khan.

Last song at your funeral
I haven’t really thought about it – I’d probably leave that up to someone else.

First person you’d thank in an award acceptance speech
Probably the director.

Last thing you think of before you go to sleep
Depends what I’m doing at the time.

Lapland, BBC One, Sat 24 Dec, 10pm.

Reporter Goes Ghetto

YouTube: Tone Loc - Wild Thing

YouTube: Chaka Khan - Ain't Nobody