As the crowd trickles in, Marijana looks up from her meditation, looking serene in a peach silk kaftan, dousing the crowd with splashes of some kind of healing water. The soundtrack to an 80s daytime talk show warbles naffly in the background. A quick costume change, into a white leather and stiletto heel smart-casual ensemble, and her transformative workshop begins.

Marijana is, she announces with eyes-closed smugness, ‘health and happiness guru to the stars.’ She’s about to teach her audience how to get, ‘a body to die for, and a reason to live’. The self-help message is oozed soothingly via calming, Croatian vowels and inaccurate use of English. Her method worked for celeb clients Jane Asher and Beverley Knight apparently, and through ‘hard work and defecation’, anyone can achieve true contentment and learn to be their own best friend.

Gabby Best is a nauseating treat as the cooing, cosseting Marijana, occasionally letting a quick flash of desperate, abandoned, husband-repelling wife slip in, only to be hurried off again by a more flawless Marijana. Best’s character comedy is sweet and sharply improvised, complete with origami birds carrying wisdom mantras (much better than Tweets, she nods), and energising music from Donna Summer and Chaka Khan.

Assembly George Square, 623 3030, until 25 Aug (not 12), 2.45pm, £9-£10 (£8–9).​