The Q&A: Maisie Adam
Maisie Adam, she of Taskmaster, Last One Laughing and pretty much any comedy panel show you might think of (as well as co-host of the Big Kick Energy football podcast), is back on the road with her latest stand-up tour, Whatsherface. Before packing her bags and hitting the comedy highway, she tackles our Q&A to tell us all about existential dread, dirty baths and ‘brass tactics’
Who would you like to see playing you in the movie about your life? Who do you think the casting people would choose? Those are two very different questions, haha! The first answer is Margot Robbie, but the second answer is probably the bloke that played Jay in The Inbetweeners.
What’s the punchline to your favourite joke? ‘Baaaaaaaaaa!!!’
If you were to return in a future life as an animal, what would it be? Probably my parents’ jack russell. I’ve never seen someone be so spoilt; he’s living the life! He’s by far their favourite child.
If you were playing in an escape room name two other people (well-known or otherwise) you’d recruit to help you get out? Carol Vorderman for the brains, Joe Marler for the brawn. Not really sure what I’d bring to that team… good vibes? Snacks? An extra pair of hands?
When was the last time you were mistaken for someone else and what were the circumstances? I get asked all the time if I’m Maisie Williams. We don’t look anything alike, it’s just that she is (quite rightly!) the much more famous Maisie. There are not many Maisies, so I think when people spot me and remember my name is Maisie, their brain just fills in the blanks automatically and says ‘Williams’. But I think Game Of Thrones would have looked a lot less cool if a lanky 32-year-old was attempting to take down a White Walker.
What’s the best cover version ever? Ooooh great question! Arctic Monkeys covered ‘Love Machine’ by Girls Aloud when I was still at school; our art teacher used to have Radio 1 on in the classroom and they covered it in the Live Lounge. Of course, the lyric: ‘Loving me is as easy as pie’ sounds better in a Sheffield accent.
Whose speaking voice soothes your ears? John Cooper Clarke. I went to see him a few months ago and obviously his words are magical, but even just his tone is simply a tonic for the soul.
Tell us something you wish you had discovered sooner in life? That the phrase is ‘let’s get down to brass tacks’ and not ‘brass tactics’. Only learnt that this year. It would have saved me a lot of embarrassment.
Describe your perfect Saturday evening? I’m at home, sat outside in the garden with my best friends round for a barbecue and some drinks. One of them’s got some incredible gossip and we’ve got the entire evening to dissect it all!
If you were a ghost, who would you haunt? All the politicians? Just to keep them on their toes.
If you could relive any day of your life, which one would it be? The day I was born. I’d just quite like to know what it was like meeting everyone for the first time, see what they thought of me and see what I thought of my first view of the world.
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What’s your earliest recollection of winning something? An Easter egg hunt on holiday in France. I won a bucket and spade, with a beach ball too! I felt very smug on the beach that day.
Did you have a nickname at school that you were ok with? And can you tell us a nickname you hated? Spaghetti Legs was a popular one in the sports’ teams. I never knew my legs looked particularly al dente but nice for people to let me know, I suppose. I didn’t really hate any nicknames at school, though my good friend Suzi Ruffell sometimes calls me Jeff Maizos which always winds me up, haha!
If you were to start a tribute act to a band or singer, who would it be in tribute to and what would it be called? I do love a bit of Dolly Parton. She’s my go-to for karaoke. Dolly Pardon because I’d sing so badly you could hardly hear what I’m saying [editor note: this q&a was compiled several weeks before the great lady’s passing].
When were you most recently astonished by something? I went to Edinburgh for a weekend and it was so lovely to realise you can go there and not be filled with a sense of existential dread at how your Fringe show is going. Just go literally any other month of the year: astonishing!
What tune do you find it impossible not to get up and dance to, whether in public or private? ‘Freed From Desire’ by Gala. It’s impossible to stay sat down for that one, especially at a football party.
Which famous person would be your ideal holiday companion? Jane McDonald; because DUHHH!
As an adult, what has a child said to you that made a powerful impact? Suzi Ruffell and her family came round to ours once and when her daughter came out of our bathroom, she said ‘your bath’s rather dirty’ and it was the funniest (and most humbling) thing you can hear a five-year-old say. She was like a mini Kim Woodburn.
Tell us one thing about yourself that would surprise people? I’ve never seen an episode of The Simpsons.
When did you last cry? I watched a nature documentary the other night where a leopard was having to jump through a flash flood and was at risk of being eaten by a crocodile. They managed to get to dry land just in time and I was a wreck. Then it went to a bit about a polar bear who wouldn’t be able to eat unless it caught some reindeer and suddenly I was all for animals being eaten alive. Basically the programme decided who I rooted for and who I wanted to starve. Very clever.
What’s the most hi-tech item in your home? Oh god, I have no idea, that’s my husband’s department. I find it all so dull, I just let him sort all the tech. The fridge? The telly? I don’t know and I’m bored thinking about it.
What’s a skill you’d love to learn but never got round to? I played drums as a kid and gave up too soon. I should have persevered and who knows, I could have been on the Pyramid Stage at Glastonbury, shredding away.
By decree of your local council, you’ve been ordered to destroy one room in your house and all of its contents. Which room do you choose? The utility room with all the ironing that needs doing.
If you were selected as the next 007, where would you pick as your first luxury destination for espionage? Ooooh, Mexico, just for the food! That first scene in Spectre where James Bond is walking through the Day Of The Dead parade is the only time I’ve been jealous of a man in MI5. It’s such a cool country.
Maisie Adam is touring the UK until Saturday 20 March 2027.