On the most relentlessly wet Fringe day since the sodden floods of 2008, it’s perhaps understandable that a late show might start half an hour late. That our bone-dry Hollywood host made no mention whatsoever of the endurance test his devoted fans (and the mildly curious) had just suffered on his behalf is not so easily cast aside. This lack of empathy could have been steadily forgiven had Tom Green come to Edinbro with an actual show. Instead, he throws up a sequence of blunt observations, tame routines and flat punchlines, all of which merely play on the tolerance of his disciples.

This is an hour of endless, unfunny contradictions. He derides the LA celebrity lifestyle but has a cheery anecdote about his unhappy experience on Celebrity Apprentice while berating the lack of fame of his fellow failed entrepreneurs. The bit about how he longs for a simpler time when having a phone meant the one that sat in your house pales in anaemic comparison to a similar routine by Louis CK. Arguably most irritating of all is his pre-August insistence that his gigs are constantly ruined by fans hollering out lines from the notoriously awful Freddy Got Fingered. Yet during one of the many lulls, he practically implores his crowd to shout out quotes.

Green’s audience interaction amounts to pointing out Michael Winslow among the gathering, charmlessly mocking inaudible contributions and high-fiving a front-row like-mind who whoops at every mention of porn and chicken. Did you know that back in the pre-internet day, kids used to find discarded jazz mags in the woods? Wow, no one has ever said that in a comedy show. And, hey, vegetarians are retards! Which is a perfectly justifiable opinion for a comic to hold if they have any material whatsoever to back it up. If this is Tom Green’s idea of a ‘partaay!!’ then I’m leaving my unopened invite in a drawer.

Udderbelly’s Pasture, 0844 545 8252, until 14 Aug, 10.55pm, £13–£15 (£12–£14).