The List

Orchard Theatre

Opened in 1983 by the Duke of Kent, the Orchard Theatre has been attracting a range of genres and styles through its doors. Ranging from comedians, West End musicals, drama, opera and music, the theatre maintains the area's cultural leanings. Handily situated in Dartford town centre, the theatre is just a few minutes from the train station, which services direct trains from London and Kent. Parking is available in two venues: the Civic Centre car park (just over the footbridge; free after 6pm) and the Orchard Shopping Centre car park (parking charge; closes at midnight).

What's On @ Orchard Theatre

Sounds of the 60s Live with Tony Blackburn
A string of extra shows have been added to the incredibly popular Sound Of The 60s Live tour, hosted by BBC Radio 2’s Tony Blackburn OBE. Every week, listeners across the UK tune into BBC Radio 2 to hear the legendary Tony Blackburn play the greatest songs of the 60s. Now, the legendary DJ will be taking his Sounds Of The 60s show on the road, for a UK tour celebrating the music of this much-loved decade. Featuring stories and songs from perhaps the most iconic 10 years in music, fashion and popular culture, the Sounds Of The 60s tour will bring to life memories of the era. The Sounds Of The 60s All-Star Band and singers will perform classic hits from the likes of Diana Ross and The Supremes, The Everly Brothers, Elvis, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Beach Boys, The Drifters, Stevie Wonder, Marvin Gaye, and many more. With this year marking the 60th anniversary of his first broadcast on pirate radio station Radio Caroline South in 1964, Tony Blackburn is remembered as a defining voice of the 1960s. His incredible career has seen him present on BBC Radio 1, Top of the Pops, and since 2017 he has presented Sounds of the 60s on Radio 2, a hugely popular show on BBC Radio. A champion in particular of soul music throughout the 60s, Tony has been recognised with 37 awards to his name including two Gold Awards for Outstanding Contribution to Radio, becoming the first person in history to receive two of these lifetime achievement awards. Tony is also recognised for becoming the first King of the Jungle in the original series of ITV’s I’m A Celebrity – Get Me Out Of Here.
Jimmy Carr: Laughs Funny

Jimmy Carr: Laughs Funny

7 May 2025 - 19 Dec 2025

Jimmy tells jokes, and jokes are like magnets. Jokes attract people, but they can also repel. Some people are repelled by Jimmy's dark brand of comedy. This show is not for them. But if it's the kind of thing you like, then this is the kind of thing you’ll like.
Whitney: Queen of the Night

Whitney: Queen of the Night

2 May 2025 - 26 Jun 2026

Queen Of The Night – A Tribute to Whitney Houston is a celebration of the music and life of one of the greatest singers of all time: Whitney Houston. Experience the ultimate tribute to Whitney’s remarkable musical repertoire in an electrifying production that honours her timeless songs with sensational vocalists and a full live band. Prepare to be blown away by an extraordinary journey through three decades of all-time hits such as _I Wanna Dance With Somebody, One Moment In Time, I’m Every Woman, I Will Always Love You, My Love Is Your Love, So Emotional, Run To You, Saving All My Love, How Will I Know, Million Dollar Bill, The Greatest Love Of All, and many more. Join us for an unmissable evening filled with live music, captivating choreography, and powerful vocals, as we pay homage to the one and only queen of the night. Please note that this is a tribute production not associated with the Estate of Whitney Houston.
Al Murray: Pub Landlord

Al Murray: Pub Landlord

2 May 2025 - 23 May 2025

One of the UK’s best loved comedians, Al Murray is also the acclaimed author of many books about the Second World War and co-host of the popular WWII podcast We Have Ways of Making You Talk . He talks to author and journalist Saul David ( Sky Warriors ) about his latest book Arnhem, Black Tuesday .
Barry Steele's Roy Orbison Story

Barry Steele's Roy Orbison Story

3 May 2025 - 14 Nov 2026

Join Barry Steele’s Roy Orbison Story for an unforgettable evening celebrating the legendary Roy Orbison and the iconic Traveling Wilburys! Experience captivating performance’s that brings the timeless hits and heartfelt stories to life. Enjoy classic hits like "Oh, Pretty Woman," "Crying," and "Only the Lonely," performed with passion and authenticity and relive the magic of the Travelling Wilburys with favourites such as "Handle with Care" and "End of the Line."  With a sprinkling of selected songs from Johnny Cash, ELO, and Tom Petty, The Roy Orbison Story showcases the vast influence of The Big O and his friends on rock and pop music.  Barry Steele, a celebrated performer, captures the essence of these musical icons with his dynamic stage presence and vocal talent. - Not only is this production perfect for fans of all ages, this show also promises to take you on a nostalgic journey through some of the greatest songs in music history.  Feel the energy of live performance as the show  brings these classic songs to life in a way that only a live show can. Don’t miss this chance to relive the magic of Roy Orbison and his contemporaries! Grab your friends and family and get ready for a night filled with unforgettable music and memories. 
Kevin Bloody Wilson

Kevin Bloody Wilson

17 Oct 2025 - 16 Nov 2025

The Kevin Bloody Wilson show is not just a concert performance; for most, it’s a full on event and an opportunity to tick from your bucket-list, a chance to see Australia’s most unique international comedy legend. In the more than 30 years since his first album (Hey Santa Claus, Living Next Door to Alan) Kev’s concerts continues to sellout around the globe. Selling upward of 4 million units and being nominated for Australian of the Year have helped cement his place as, in the words of Billy Connolly, ‘The world’s funniest Australian’.
Ed Byrne: Tragedy Plus Time

Ed Byrne: Tragedy Plus Time

10 May 2025 - 29 Oct 2025

TV favourite Ed Byrne tours his Best Reviewed Show at the Edinburgh Festival, British Comedy Guide's No 1 Comedy show, and his most personal show to date. From the quote attributed to Mark Twain, humour is defined as Tragedy Plus Time. Come and join one of our leading laugh specialists as he tests that formula by mining the most tragic event in his life for laughs. With his TV career now in its third decade, Ed has regularly appeared on the likes of QI, Mock The Week, Alan Davies As Yet Untitled, and Live At The Apollo. With legions of fans both in the UK and abroad, Ed remains the observational stand-up to see.
Rhod Gilbert & The Giant Grapefruit

Rhod Gilbert & The Giant Grapefruit

14 May 2025 - 16 Nov 2025

When life gives Rhod lemons… In his last show ‘The Book of John’, Rhod was dealing with some pretty pungent life citrus, and an idiot called John. Little did he know that things were about to turn even more sour… But Rhod’s not bitter; he’s bouncing back and feeling remarkably zesty. Hilariously dark, passionate and way too personal, this is classic Gilbert, squeezing every last drop out of life’s latest curveballs...with a little help from an old adversary.
Rob Beckett: Giraffe

Rob Beckett: Giraffe

7 May 2025 - 18 Apr 2026

Comedian, presenter and panel-show superstar announces new tour Giraffe for 2025 Smashing the life out of the M25, M1, M5 and any other road that’s in my way. From Bromley to Brisbane, my new show Giraffe is going worldwide. Expectations on me: put on 3 stone from takeaways and post-show drinking. Expectations of you: leave the gig happier than when you arrived. My wife thinks it’s going to be tough for me to be away from the family, and don’t get me wrong, I do love my children/podcast content providers… but I also enjoy a lie-in and a hotel buffet breakfast. I think I’ll cope. What else is there to do? Sit next to your partner on the sofa, scrolling TikTok in silence again? You did that the last three nights. See you there! Host of Sky’s Rob Beckett’s Smart TV and Rob & Romesh Vs. He’s also the unmistakable voice of Channel 4’s Celebs Go Dating and the smash-hit podcast Parenting Hell.
Jason Manford - A Manford All Seasons
Born in 1981, it took only 17 years for comedian, writer, actor, television and radio presenter Jason Manford to make his mark on the live circuit. Working as a glass collector at the Buzz Comedy Club in Manchester's suburban area of Chorlton, Manford stepped in when a scheduled performer failed to turn up. Just six live gigs later he claimed The City Life North West Comedian Of The Year award, launching a career that would cement him as a household name across the United Kingdom. Jason’s been busy since his last smash-hit stand up show but fans of his Absolute Radio show will know this nationally acclaimed comedian hasn’t changed a bit.
Harry Hill: New Bits & Greatest Hits

Harry Hill: New Bits & Greatest Hits

2 May 2025 - 21 Sept 2025

Join me on my Diamond Jubilee lap of honour as I celebrate 60 Glorious Years of fun, laughter and low level disruption! Marvel! As I offer new insights into the hot topics of the day such as the demise of the SCART lead, The Culture Wars, the differences between crab sticks and rhubarb and the origins of Tiramisu! Guffaw with delight! As I delve into my back catalogue using my patented ‘Old Bit Randomiser’ for old favourites like ‘Interspecies Tennis’, ‘The time I went up in the Space Shuttle' and ‘When Nan got her hair caught in the knitting’! Cough Awkwardly! As Gary, (my son from my first marriage) attempts to take over the business again. Tap your Feet! As Stouffer The Cat spits a little Steflon Don! Watch in Wonder! At the return of The Badger Parade with guest appearances from The Knitted Character and Abu Hamster. Plus one lucky audience member will get to join me in a double act! So get on board the laughter train!
Jack Dee

Jack Dee

10 May 2025 - 1 Nov 2025

Culture wars, the environment, British foreign policy and social justice: these are just a few of the topics that Jack spectacularly fails to address (or even mention for that matter) in his brand new show. Instead, for reasons known only to him, he doubles down on his fascination with the meaningless small things of life like Zoom protocol, what’s new in the world of radiators and the worst careers advice office in the world. Join Jack as he guides you through his varied life and career with his customary charm and well known gift for talking absolute rubbish on any given subject.
Francis Rossi

Francis Rossi

1 May 2025 - 7 Nov 2025

Francis Dominic Nicholas Michael Rossi, OBE is an English musician. He is the co-founder, lead singer, lead guitarist and the sole continuous member of the rock band Status Quo.
Nikita Kuzmin - Midnight Dancer

Nikita Kuzmin - Midnight Dancer

2 May 2025 - 24 May 2025

Nikita is joined by a sharp and chic cast of talented dancers and vocalists in a show like no other, jam-packed with the hits we all know and love in an evening bursting with happiness, euphoria and of course, world-class dance. Joining forces with the team behind Oti Mabuse: I Am Here and Johannes Radebe’s trilogy of sell out shows, Midnight Dancer promises to be an unforgettable night of entertainment. Get ready to see Nikita as you’ve never seen him before.
Milton Jones: HA!milton

Milton Jones: HA!milton

3 May 2025 - 29 Nov 2025

This is not a musical. Milton Jones is tone deaf and has no sense of rhythm, but at least he doesn’t make a song and dance about it. He has more important things to discuss. Like giraffes... and there’s a bit about tomatoes. You might know him from Mock the Week, Live at the Apollo or Radio 4. Or that time he stood for the Scottish National Party, fought a hard campaign, but in the end had to respect the wishes of the people of Cardiff. A whole new show of daftness. You know it makes sense. Warning - contains jokes from the start.
Michael Starring Ben

Michael Starring Ben

29 May 2025 - 20 Nov 2026

Take a journey back in time to remember Michael Jackson – the man, the music and the magic.  MichaelⓇ Starring Ben is a hit theatre production starring the UK's ultimate Michael Jackson tribute star, Ben Bowman. Not only does he look and sound like the King of Pop, but he's honed his routine so carefully that audiences truly believe they are watching Michael Jackson himself.  The show features a live band, dazzling costumes and the performer's iconic dance routines. It also showcases the greatest hits of Michael Jackson and also of The Jackson 5 including Beat It, Billie Jean, Thriller and Man in the Mirror.
Ellen Kent's Madama Butterfly

Ellen Kent's Madama Butterfly

3 May 2025 - 13 May 2025

Opera & Ballet International proudly presents an Ellen Kent production with international soloists, highly-praised chorus and full orchestra Winner of The Best Opera Award Liverpool Daily Post Theatre Awards Back by overwhelming public demand, this award winning Opera returns with exquisite sets including a spectacular Japanese garden and fabulous costumes including antique wedding kimonos from Japan. One of the world’s most popular operas, Puccini’s Madama Butterfly tells the heart-breaking story of the beautiful young Japanese girl who falls in love with an American naval lieutenant – with dramatic results. Highlights include the melodic Humming Chorus, the moving aria One Fine Day and the unforgettable Love Duet. Sung in Italian with English surtitles.
Simon Reeve: To The Ends Of The Earth
Returning to venues across the UK with his brand new show ‘To The Ends Of The Earth’. Simon will be sharing stories, surprises, thrills, deeper thoughts and hearty laughs. He wants to nudge and encourage audiences to get out of their comfort zone, take a few gentle risks in life, and embrace the great outdoors and the wider world.
The Manfreds

The Manfreds

2 May 2025 - 29 Nov 2025

The '60s group Manfred Mann is now considered, more than ever, one of the finest and most respected bands from that era. Their numerous hits were R&B based with an undercurrent of jazz - a very unusual but winning combination of playing style and substance. As a result, their records have a timeless quality and, some 55 years on, The Manfreds, with original front man, Paul Jones, will be performing many of their hits, including ‘Do Wah Diddy Diddy’, one of the most popular and instantly recognisable songs of the ‘60’s,and still the biggest audience pleaser at their concerts, along with a mix of Jazz and Blues covers and tracks from their individual solo albums. Paul Jones, with his unique harmonica sound, will be joined by Mike Hugg on keyboards, Tom McGuinness on guitar, Rob Townsend on drums, Marcus Cliffe on bass, and Simon Currie on saxophone/ flute.
Babatunde Aléshé

Babatunde Aléshé

15 May 2025 - 30 Nov 2025

Join the multi award winning star of Celebrity Gogglebox as he talks family and fatherhood in this highly anticipated debut tour. As seen on Jonathan Ross Comedy Club (ITV1), Rhod Gilbert’s Growing Pains (Comedy Central) and Mo Gilligan’s Black British & Funny (Channel 4).
Sara Pascoe

Sara Pascoe

11 May 2025 - 29 Mar 2026

Apparently caterpillars completely break down into goo before they become butterflies. Come join comedian Sara Pascoe as she reconsiders and reconstructs herself after having two babies and very little sleep.
James B Partridge: The Big Christmas Assembly
Celebrate the Christmas season with JAMES B PARTRIDGE and his delightful THE BIG CHRISTMAS ASSEMBLY 2025 show, a night packed with festive spirit, singalong tunes, and the nostalgia of Christmases gone by. Known for his vibrant energy and exceptional vocal talent, James brings seasonal favourites and unexpected mashups that will have the whole audience singing along. With appearances on BBC The One Show, BBC Breakfast, Loose Women, and BBC Radio 2, James has charmed audiences across the UK and Europe, bringing people together through his love of music and performance. A mix of classic Christmas tunes and reflections on growing up during this magical season, this show promises warmth, community, and a dash of Christmas magic. Don’t miss your chance to relive the joy of a Christmas assembly, with James leading the way for an unforgettable night of festive fun!

↖ Back to all venues