Forget Storm Floris; strong winds can’t blow away our reviews (mainly because that’s not how websites work), so here’s every five- and four-star review we’ve punted onto our site over the past few days. For past reviews, here’s our round-up from Monday. 

Five stars

Footballers’ Wives: The Musical 
(Musical) 
‘Many things (low rise jeans, telly talent shows, Coldplay) deserve to stay firmly in 2002. But as this glorious musical adaptation shows, Footballers’ Wives, the glossy ITV drama about the wives and girlfriends of the fictional Earls Park FC’s players, is not one of them. Sequinned, sparkled and stuffed with strong female leads, it’s a high-camp spectacle that’s already packing out the Assembly Rooms, with a part crime caper, part hospital drama and part wedding-day-splash-in-OK! magazine plot that’s never less than full bedlam and total bobbins. In short, it’s bloody brilliant.’ 
Read the full review. 

Funz And Gamez Rebootz
(Kids)
‘”What’s your job?” asks Phil Ellis, dressed as a pirate and sweating like he’s just woken up from a three-day bender, to a six-year-old boy called Ronnie. There’s always talk about the perfect kids show balancing jokes that both little ones and adults will love, but few relish speaking to children as though they actually were fully employed adults in their mid-20s. Ellis details his inability to conceive to a small boy in the front row, infers that he’s reviving this erstwhile hit because of financial difficulties, and flings sweets into the crowd with the vigour of someone praying they take a punter’s eye out.’ 
Read the full review. 

Kinder 
(Theatre) 
‘This is it. Their big break. Goody Prostate: a drag-clown landing in a new city, a fresh start with a debut performance. But just as it all seems to come together, hell unleashes as Goody comes to realise that they may have misinterpreted the venue and performance specs. Ryan Stewart’s Kinder, a spiralling maelstrom which thrusts an interrogation about children, the stories we tell them, books (the burning of) and parents, is a declaration. Melding flamboyance with fury and political bite with wit, Goody comes to realise this isn’t a comedic roast but a drag storytelling, complete with protestors.’ 
Read the full review. 

Blaze FM
(Theatre)
‘Feeling the floor vibrate with bass is the perfect way to start this delight of a show where the combined energy of grime, drill, garage and reggae is matched by the cast of Blaze FM’s incredible lyricism, charm and talent. Charting the events of the Blaze family as they run a pirate radio station, we travel through time. Beginning in the heady days of Y2K, they experience the events of recent history, including the gentrification of Hackney, rising knife crime, the demonisation of drill rap and the devastation caused by the Windrush scandal.’
Read the full review. 

Smile: The Story Of Charlie Chaplin
(Theatre) 
‘Comic genius is an overused term especially at this time of year, but Marcel Cole’s hour-long homage to the king of silent-movie slapstick, and beyond, warrants such an accolade on several levels. Opening with a note-perfect condensed re-enactment of Charlie Chaplin’s 1925 masterpiece, The Gold Rush, Australian clown Cole enlists several audience members as his cast to chart Chaplin’s rise from poverty-stricken childhood to the vaudeville stage and global stardom in Hollywood.’ 
Read the full review. 

Four stars

Make It Happen
(Theatre) 
‘James Graham’s new play about Royal Bank Of Scotland’s disgraced former CEO brings levity and some magic tricks to what could easily have been a turgid affair. Graham’s smart treatment of Fred Goodwin’s grandiose greed finds fun in its discussion around the ethics of capitalism. ‘Fred The Shred’s empire crumbles, exposing shady and shadowy banking practices that allowed him to run RBS almost completely into the ground.’ 
Read the full review. 

Rosie O’ Donnell: Common Knowledge 
(Comedy)
‘When no less a moron than Donald Trump effectively calls you public enemy number one and threatens to revoke your citizenship, you know you’re doing something right. You also, if you’re Rosie O’Donnell, uproot to Ireland, land of your ancestors. In this by turns moving and funny, tear-inducing and hilarious one-woman show about family and inclusion, the US actor, comedian and former talk-show host reveals herself to be a masterful storyteller.’ 
Read the full review. 

Panoptikum 
(Dance) 
‘Czech choreographer Lenka Vagnerová has an eye for an image that tickles the dark heart of the subconscious. Her 2014 piece La Loba dwelt in the bone-scattered landscape of witchy folklore. Now she has turned her dreamlike gaze on 19th-century travelling panoptikums (unkindly known as ‘freak shows’). ‘ 
Read the full review. 

Soil 
(Dance) 
‘Raising eyebrows has multiple meanings in Greenlandic, also known as the Inuit language Kalaallisut. The dancer and founder of Aviaja Dance company, Sarah Aviaja Hammeken, is a mix of Danish and Greenlandic heritage and wants to explore identity, language and belonging in this 45-minute performance. Her show crackles into life slowly from a dark room; electronic buzzes seem to be gradually waking a cyborg being, coiled on the ground in a pile of dark black soil.’ 
Read the full review. 

Madonna On The Rocks 
(Theatre) 
‘Named after Leonardo da Vinci’s painting, ‘Virgin Of The Rocks’ (also known as ‘Madonna Of The Rocks’), this one-woman show opens with Marie Hamilton cradling a baby. Dressed in Virgin Mary robes and wearing a crown of sparkly stars, forks and baby spoons, she’s a striking image of motherhood as icon. But the illusion quickly shatters when her babysitter calls, and it’s soon clear that Hamilton is literally on the rocks.’ 
Read the full review. 

Chopin’s Nocturne 
(Comedy) 
‘Coming across as an edgy music teacher who just wants his class to appreciate that classical music is accessible to everyone, Aidan Jones alternates between dick jokes and sincere explanations of Chopin’s musicality in a show which, he admits, the composer wouldn’t like. Achieving a warm rapport with the audience, Jones reflects on his career as a relatively unsuccessful stand-up, offering his passion for one of the Nocturnes in an hour that matches broad humour with aesthetic sensitivity.’ 
Read the full review.

The Burton Brothers: 1925
(Comedy) 
‘It’s 1925, and all that jazz, as brothers Josh and Tom Burton roll back the years and swing into town with this supremely silly (and slightly surreal) hour. A whizzbang hybrid of a show it features a vaudeville-tinged cocktail of sketch and physical comedy with a dash of improv and some gentle audience interaction for good measure. Stepping back a century is a neat concept, working both as a framework to contain all the madness of this piece but also to reflect how much (or little) the world has changed.’ 
Read the full review. 

Cirque Kalabanté: WOW (World Of Words) 
(Circus) 
‘Guinea-founded, Montreal-based Cirque Kalabanté, headed up by Yamoussa Bangoura, is back with a brand-new piece, after the success of 2023’s Afrique En Cirque. WOW (World Of Words) finds the company in similar territory to its last production, celebrating Guinean culture through dance, vignettes of rural life, and call and response banter with the audience, as well as showcasing the cast’s astounding talents for tumbling.’ 
Read the full review. 

Trouble, Struggle, Bubble & Squeak
(Theatre)
‘When Victoria Melody gets hold of an idea, she doesn’t let it go. After work about Northern Soul and dog shows, Melody’s latest obsessive outing charts her fascination with the 17th-century English Civil War. Having developed a particular interest in the Diggers, the band of agrarian rebels who rose up across several battles to argue for a fairer society, Melody joins a historical re-enactment society.’ 
Read the full review. 

Frisky's Reshuffle
(Cabaret) 
‘Sans partner-in-crime Mannish, Fringe icon and cabaret diva Laura Corcoran aka Frisky, makes a grand return to the city and in her usual haunt of the Palais du Variété. Frisky’s Reshuffle is a kinetic, unapologetically playful showcase of her sharp instincts and newfound (somewhat) maturity on the mic. After years of threatening to do so, Frisky (a self-described ‘recovering perfectionist’) makes the leap with their solo adventure; accompanied by a spiffing four-piece band, naturally.’ 
Read the full review. 

Ohio 
(Theatre) 
‘Ohio draws from the life experience of one half of indie-folk duo The Bengsons, reaching back to his youth, his early experiences with religion and reckoning with a hereditary condition that will one day render him deaf. Yet, the duo tell their story with a steady care that allows an affecting universal truth to shine through. How do we find hope in the frailty of our bodies and the echoes of our fathers? While some of the story elements along the way could be clearer, the broad themes are skilfully introduced and a single dramatic moment manages to provide a truly moving emotional climax.’ 
Read the full review. 

Jay Lafferty: Ooft!
(Comedy) 
‘Seeing local comedian Jay Lafferty own the familiar surroundings of The Stand at 5pm on an opening Fringe weekend is the grounding a mostly Scottish audience didn’t know they needed. Starting this set with the familiar Scotrail announcement is another tick in the box for the home team, as is setting one whole hour around the communal nightmare of that last train home (which many of us will catch later; good luck with that lads).’ 
Read the full review.

Cheese And Guava Or Romeo And Juliet
(Theatre) 
‘Shakespeare may not have been known for his samba moves, but that hasn’t stopped the Brazilian Cênica company from serving up his tale of star-crossed lovers in bite-size cabaret-style form. The fact that Romeo And Juliet is also the nickname for the post-dinner Brazilian snack of cheese and guava speaks volumes. Opposites attract.’ 
Read the full review.

Nerds 
(Musical) 
‘When Milton wanted to explore the nature of evil, he wrote Paradise Lost. For the Fringe, its equivalent is a lazy musical that celebrates the rise of the tech-nerd, making Bill Gates and Steve Jobs the romantic heroes of a generic show which races through the two men’s ascent to power and completely ignores the consequences of their success.’ 
Read the full review.  

Fuselage 
(Theatre) 
‘In a play that covers global terrorism, mass murder and heartbreaking loss, it is the image of a single earring finding its missing partner that carries the most power. Locating the minute and personal inside the cataclysmic sums up the essence of Fuselage, Annie Lareau’s three-hander elegy to the 35 friends from Syracuse University that she lost when Pan Am flight 103 exploded over Lockerbie in 1988. It is a deeply personal piece, born of student routines and everyday moments, all of which can be snatched away in a second by a combination of fate and human decision.’
Read the full review.

Thor Stenhaug: One Night Stand Baby
(Comedy)
‘This highly-accomplished hour of stand-up from Norwegian comedian Thor Stenhaug showcases his parents’ unconventional child-raising efforts and acts as a self-professed love letter to family life. A natural storyteller, Stenhaug revels in the little differences between a bucolic, rural upbringing and a new life in London, from his hereditary grapple with STIs to the sickening luxury of a Norwegian prison.’ 
Read the full review.

Homo(sapien)
(Theatre) 
‘Joey is a bad gay. He’s never had sex, and what’s more, he can’t get into Drag Race. But he’s determined to do something about it; the sex part, anyway. What follows is a chaotic journey as he tries to ‘get his hole’, while exploring why he’s holding himself back, in more ways than one.’
Read the full review. 

No Apologies
(Theatre) 
‘”Kurt Cobain was trans,” declares Emma Frankland at the top of her show. She’s dressed as the rock icon as she says this. More accurately, she’s dressed as Cobain as he looked during Nirvana’s career-defining MTV Unplugged show. Her set is a meticulous recreation of how the television studio looked on that night, but this is more radical declaration than tribute act. “Kurt Cobain was trans,” repeats Frankland, over and over in as many permutations as she can think of, changing Cobain’s pronouns to she/her and recounting her own obsession with grunge’s accidental populist.’ 
Read the full review.

Club NVRLND
(Theatre) 
‘Assembly Checkpoint is transformed into a 00s rave as the audience is welcomed into Club NVRLND for this unique reimagining of JM Barrie’s Peter Pan. This is not just a show: it’s an immersive theatrical experience. It’s queer, euphoric, full of nostalgia and wonderfully camp.’
Read the full review. 

Zainab Johnson: Toxically Optimistic
(Comedy) 
‘Using a single word to sum up a performer can be a dangerously reductive game, but one keeps popping up when watching Zainab Johnson: raconteur. Granted, it’s a curiously old-fashioned word for a zeitgeisty performer whose set primarily covers all the big millennial preoccupations: buying her first home, dating on the apps, cute fluffy animals, and owning a gun (as a black Muslim woman she is not the DEI they had in mind apparently, but it is easier to get a gun than a husband).’ 
Read the full review.

Chrome Yellow 
(Theatre) 
‘When Wayne Stewart decided to walk 650 miles by himself from the north of France down to the south, the 50-odd days in the wilderness that followed taught him a thing or two: the difference between being lonely and alone, the concept of space and enjoying being in the moment were all in the mix. This record of that journey sees Stewart move between reading extracts from his travel journal of the time and a retrospective view of his experience, fusing therapy and stand-up theatre to get to the heart of who he is.’ 
Read the full review.  

Glenn Moore: Please Sir, Glenn I Have Some Moore?
(Comedy) 
‘Glenn Moore is a man who doesn’t back himself. Unlike other members of his family who exude (unfounded) confidence, he doesn’t speak up when he should; and that can sometimes get him into tricky situations. Like the time he nearly ran out of petrol in Death Valley with his cousins, a tale he tells with high energy and a few detours along the way.’ 
Read the full review.

Niusia 
(Theatre) 
‘A story that travels through history, both domestic and international, Niusia is a warm study of generational continuity, reflecting on Jewish identity, maternal influence and the domestic impact of the Shoah. At times distressing, it holds the threads of family history and vicious horrors of the Nazis gently yet firmly. The rambling structure allows multiple strands to emerge and interact: a Jewish wedding comments on the performer’s increasing sense of shared identity, while an interlude on Mengele speaks to a grandmother’s remarkable intelligence.’ 
Read the full review.

Eric Rushton: Innkeeper 
(Comedy) 
‘There’s an unassuming air to Eric Rushton’s delivery. He’s not quite deadpan, but he is subdued enough to knock-off grade-A punchlines with a shrug, basking in a superlative gag rate to conceal the dark heart of his story. Dealing with his declining mental health and inability to maintain romantic relationships, and the near-impossible chance of accessing mental-health services without waiting for months on end, this would be a troubling trauma narrative if this Manchester comedian didn’t ply his crowd with wordplay.’ 
Read the full review.  

Joz Norris: You Wait. Time Passes 
(Comedy) 
‘As with some of Joz Norris’ previous silly, high-concept Fringe hours over the years, this is another portrayal of an egotistical, attention-seeking idiot. The premise is that tonight, after 30 years of toil and tunnel-vision devotion, Norris is poised to reveal his life’s work. An almighty but secretive undertaking, the character believes himself an auteur genius, despite mangling the names of supposed peers such as Van Gogh and Da Vinci. His wife and child neglected to the point of estrangement, he is nevertheless so giddy, so thrilled by the realisation of his vision that he can’t quite bring himself to fulfil it, masochistically savouring the procrastination and his fantasies of immortality.’ 
Read the full review.

Christian Dart: Gumshoe!  
(Comedy) 
‘We’re in 1940s Noo Yoik and a heinous crime has been committed in the Big Apple. Who will save the day and solve the seemingly unsolvable? Enter Christian Dart’s Detective Gumshoe with his film-noir swagger and questionable accent. The audience are corralled into the action, assisting in the crime’s creation and helping Gumshoe prove his own genius. This is frenetic, fast-paced and genuinely funny. Dart uses exposition to get us where we need to be but it is done with a clever, self-aware touch. With the help of his sister Johanna and her mixing machine at the back, we are transported to an age where women only wore skirts and men solved crimes after a bottle of bourbon.’ 
Read the full review.

Siblings: Dreamweavers
(Comedy)
‘A deliberately faltering, faux-dramatic start instantly sets the scene for Dreamweavers and neatly encapsulates the chaos ahead. Real-life siblings (and daughters of comedy royalty Ruby Wax and Ed Bye) Maddy and Marina Bye stalk the room, armed with their dream helmet. They claim it can read and bring to life the subconscious escapades of anyone who wears it, although it looks suspiciously like a colander wrapped in fairy lights.’ 
Read the full review. 

Jess Robinson: Your Song
(Comedy)
‘You really can’t fault Jess Robinson. Her shows are always impeccably performed and stuffed full of quality entertainment for all ages; this one is no exception. Your Song is a re-imagining of Elton John’s work as performed not just by Robinson but also ‘the girls’: the voices/impressions who live rent free in her head. Robinson appears radiant in almost as many sparkles and ruffles as Elton himself, including a nod to his footwear in her silver platform boots. She’s an immensely likeable performer and always mesmerising to watch. This hour showcases her pin-sharp impressions and versatile singing voice, backed by pianist and musical director Matthew Floyd Jones (formerly of Frisky & Mannish), gamely sporting some Elton-esque glasses.’ 
Read the full review. 

Holst’s The Planets
(Music) 
‘When it comes to pulling power, The Planets programmed with Rachmaninov’s Rhapsody On A Theme of Paganini is a surefire way to pack in the public. Less certain is what an orchestra will do with such populist classics to present them as familiar and distinctive enough to be unfamiliar at the same time. For the most part, the London Philharmonic Orchestra with Principal Conductor Edward Gardner made it work. Keeping things taut and tense, ‘Mars, The Bringer Of War’ was a brooding, fermenting brew, with the peacefulness of ‘Venus’ providing respite in its seductive momentum.’ 
Read the full review. 

Hole! 
(Musical)
‘The earth moves, the clouds part, and the gates of heaven open in this new lo-fi musical that sees the gospel according to the Church Of Garth decree that the entire congregation wear butt plugs at all times. Built for comfort they are not, but when corks are popped and asses unfrozen, those not doing god’s bidding fly off into the ether like a burst balloon. Bearing witness to this are teenage BFFs Luke and Connor, who embark on a mission to kill off the sinners en route to filling the holes in their own lives.’
Read the full review. 

Mike Nelson: Humpty Dumpty
(Art)
‘In “Low Rise”, upstairs in Fruitmarket, London sculptor and installation artist Mike Nelson re-assembles fragments of Heygate, a demolished south London housing estate. Girders, rafters and beams sit beside dusty 90s video-game machines and a faded wooden St George’s Cross. The accompanying notes stay vague, mentioning a project that Nelson began but “ceased whilst under construction in 2014”; the public art project was pulled after opposition from locals, although Nelson may have been critiquing the social cleansing, as hinted at in his exhibition notes, where he ambiguously mentions “political undercurrents”.’ 
Read the full review. 

Main Picture: Alex Brenner.